raw

Bismillah..

layers upon layers

- - -

when 'is' the right time?

Bismillah..

Came across this ayat and it's there..everyday, ever since..haunting me..


"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened, and many of them are defiantly disobedient."

"Belum tibakah waktunya bagi orang-orang yang beriman, untuk secara khusyuk mengingat Allah dan mematuhi kebenaran yang telah diwahyukan (kepada mereka) dan janganlah mereka (berlaku) seperti orang-orang yang telah menerima kitab sebelum itu, kemudian mereka melalui masa yang panjang sehingga hati mereka menjadi keras. Dan banyak diantara mereka menjadi fasik." 

Surah Al-Hadid, 57: 16

has the time not come?

that I'd have khusyu' in the remembrance of Allah swt?

I felt like if it'd be my deathbed

had a figure would loomed at me and whispers those words

has the time not come?

when by that time,  the hands and feet will not be able to do anything anymore

when only tears could passed through these eyelids

wouldn't I regret it

to ever pass these words and pay no heed to it?

="(

when 'is' the right  time?

- - -

Pewaris :)

Bismillah..

Rasulullah SAW said: 

“Verily, Constantinople shall be conquered, 

its commander shall be the best commander ever and his army shall be the best army ever.”


Muhammad Al-Fateh was the Conqueror of Constantinople. 

Constantinople is a city connecting the Mediterranean with the Black Sea, and Asia with Europe. It was considered the best global trade center in the medieval ages. About it, Napoleon said: “If the world was one kingdom, there would be no better city befitting to be its capital than Constantinople.” Because of its strategic location and the hadith of Rasulullah SAW, Muslims tried to conquer the city for over 800 years, through 10 attempts. The first was by Othman Bin Affan r.a, the second and third by Muawiyyah Bin Abi Sufiyan, the fourth by Sulaiman Bin Abdul-Malik and the fifth by Harun Al-Rashid. There were several other attempts, until Muhammad Al-Fateh conquered it. To conquer it he accomplished the incredible feat of dragging 70 naval ships for 5 km over land on greased tree trunks in one night, landing in the sea right in front of the city walls by dawn. 


When asked about his capabilities and how he managed the conquest, he replied: 

“I have two traits: 

1) a heart as hard as a rock that does not rest until I achieve what I want. 

2) an eye that cries out of fear of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). 

So how could I not achieve victory?”


- - -

Truth is...what's in your heart

Bismillah..

Have you ever went to the beach in the dark?

There's no words that can describe it

no camera could capture it (for what it truly is)

somehow,

despite the dark, 

the place 'feel' alive

the air, the sand

and more, 

you are fully aware of what you are feeling

that painful honesty

There's a memory that stays

and I'm held captivated by that memory

My solace, 

my secret world I could conjure

especially when I feel down, 

when I felt I did something wrong

He knows that I was half-hearted

that my niat changes

that despite my physical presence there, my heart runs away

escaping behind the curtains of doubt

and He knows if I lied

He made a promise

that there'll be one day

whatever I said or did will be shown

from the darkness

a curtain would fall and all my deeds would be displayed

my lips sealed, and everything...everything will be laid open

my hands and feet would testify for or against me

so..who am I kidding?

who am I honestly kidding?

hence..if I can be honest

I'm... disappointed with myself

that I didn't give my very best

when I know... I can do better


"That is because they are not afflicted by thirst or fatigue or hunger in the cause of Allah, nor do tread on any ground that enrages the disbelievers, nor do they inflict upon an enemy any infliction but that is registered for them as a righteous deed. Indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who tried to improve themselves."

"Yang demikian kerana sesungguhnya (tiap-tiap kali) mereka merasai dahaga, dan merasai penat lelah, dan juga merasai lapar (dalam perjuangan) pada jalan Allah; dan (tiap-tiap kali) mereka menjejak sesuatu tempat yang menimbulkan kemarahan orang-orang kafir; dan juga (tiap-tiap kali) mereka menderita sesuatu yang mencederakan dari pihak musuh - melainkan semuanya itu ditulis bagi mereka: (pahala) amal yang soleh. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menghilangkan pahala orang-orang yang berusaha memperbaiki amalannya."

- Surah At-Taubah,9:120

- - -

Heart-rending..
He knows
This is what I found when searching about the ayat about improving thyself..


The characters of people who (truly) wants to improve themselves:


1. Sincerity
"There is not upon the weak or upon the ill or upon those who do not find anything to spend any discomfort when they are sincere to Allah and His Messenger. There is not upon the doers of good any cause [for blame]. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."
"Orang-orang yang lemah dan orang-orang yang sakit, dan juga orang-orang yang tidak mempunyai sesuatu yang akan dibelanjakan, tidaklah menanggung dosa (kerana tidak turut berperang) apabila mereka berlaku ikhlas kepada Allah dan RasulNya. Tidak ada jalan sedikitpun bagi menyalahkan orang-orang yang berusaha memperbaiki amalannya; dan Allah Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani."
- Surah At-Taubah, 9:91


2. Age
3. Strength
"And when Joseph ( Yusuf) reached maturity, We gave him judgment and knowledge. And thus We reward the doers of good."
"Dan ketika Yusuf sampai ke peringkat umurnya yang sempurna kekuatannya, Kami beri kepadanya kebijaksanaan serta ilmu pengetahuan; dan demikianlah kami membalas orang-orang yang berusaha memperbaiki amalannya."
- Surah Yusuf, 12: 22


"And when he (Dawud) attained his full strength and was [mentally] mature, We bestowed upon him judgement and knowledge. And thus do We reward the doers of good."
"Dan ketika Musa sampai ke peringkat umurnya yang cukup kekuatannya dan sempurna, Kami beri kepadanya kebijaksanaan serta ilmu pengetahuan; dan demikian Kami membalas orang-orang yang berusaha memperbaiki amalannya."
- Surah Al-Qasas, 28: 14

We're young.
We make mistakes.
But if we really want to be a better person
if we are sincere
with time and experience
He will reward our effort


time and effort, insyaAllah~


sincerity..
:"(
am I?


- - -

Waiting

Bismillah..

Was stuck behind a traffic today. Long lines following this large crane. The trip towards and back, I had this big machine infront of me. Normally, I love big vehicles but at 40km/hr?? Serious?? I waited for almost an hour...


Then it got me reflecting how many times are we in a line. At Kuala Lurah and Temburong (KK), Sungai Tujuh (Miri), morning,noon and afternoon traffic..if you calculate those times..they took up 1/5th of our day probably. If you include the times when we're idle, lazying around for our lifespan..how much is that?  


What of the time?
What in the world are we waiting for??
What is everyone waiting for??


Continuation on the reflect of surah Fatir..


"Every soul will taste death, 
and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. 
So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, has attained [his desire]. 
And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion."


"Tiap-tiap yang bernyawa akan merasai mati, 
dan bahawasanya pada hari kiamat sahajalah akan disempurnakan balasan kamu. 
Ketika itu sesiapa yang dijauhkan dari neraka dan dimasukkan ke syurga maka sesungguhnya ia telah memperoleh kemenangan. 
Dan (ingatlah bahawa) kehidupan di dunia ini (meliputi segala kemewahannya dan pangkat kebesarannya) tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan bagi orang-orang yang terpedaya."


- Ali Imran,3:185

"And they say, "When will be this conquest, if you should be truthful?"

Say, [O Muhammad], "On the Day of Conquest, the belief of those who had disbelieved will not benefit them, nor will they be reprieved."

So turn away from them and wait.
Indeed, they are waiting.

"Dan mereka bertanya, 

"Kapankah kemenangan itu (datang) jika engkau orang yang benar?

Katakanlah, "Pada hari kemenangan itu, tidak berguna lagi bagi orang-orang kafir keimanan mereka dan mereka tidak diberi penangguhan.

Maka berpalinglah engkau dari mereka dan tunggulah, sesungguhnya mereka (juga) menunggu."

- Surah As Sajdah, 32: 28-30  


.
.
.


The day we're waiting for, the day when we win...
is not when we had attained dunia
rather, when we had attained Jannah (syurga)


what are you waiting in a line for?


- - -

Happy Birthday?

Bismillah..

was wondering why in the world you'd celebrate a birthday each year
some greets the typical
happy birthday, hope you have a blast
may Allah bless you


what's a birthday suppose to remind you of?
..and I came across to surah Fatir
*heart-squeeze*


This is why:

Time given ...

"Dan kalaulah Allah mengirakan kesalahan manusia serta terus menyeksa mereka disebabkan amal-amal jahat yang mereka telah kerjakan, tentulah la tidak membiarkan tinggal di muka bumi sesuatu makhluk yang bergerak; akan tetapi (dia tidak bertindak dengan serta merta, bahkan) Ia memberi tempoh kepada mereka hingga ke suatu masa yang tertentu; kemudian apabila sampai tempoh mereka (maka Allah akan membalas masing-masing dengan adilnya), kerana sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa Melihat keadaan hamba-hambaNya."45

.
.

...what is delayed, extended

Dan mereka menjerit-jerit di dalam neraka itu (sambil merayu): "Wahai Tuhan kami, keluarkanlah kami (dari azab ini); kami akan mengerjakan amal-amal yang soleh, yang lain dari apa yang kami pernah kerjakan. (lalu Allah menempelak mereka): "Bukankah Kami telah melanjutkan umur kamu dan memberikan masa yang cukup untuk berfikir dan beringat padanya oleh sesiapa yang suka berfikir dan beringat? Dan kamu pula telah didatangi oleh Rasul (Kami) yang memberi amaran oleh itu, rasalah (azab seksa), kerana orang-orang yang zalim tidak akan beroleh sesiapapun yang dapat memberikan pertolongan". 37

.
.

... why are you doing now (in dunya)

Wahai umat manusia, sesungguhnya janji Allah (membalas amal kamu) adalah benar; maka janganlah kamu diperdayakan oleh kemewahan hidup di dunia, dan janganlah Syaitan yang menjadi sebesar-besar penipu itu berpeluang menyebabkan kamu terpedaya dengan (kemurahan) Allah (lalu kamu lalai dan menderhaka). 5

.
.
... the enemy

Sesungguhnya Syaitan adalah musuh yang nyata bagi kamu, maka jadikanlah dia musuh; sebenarnya dia hanyalah mengajak golongannya supaya menjadi dari penduduk neraka. 6

.
.

... the hope

wahai umat manusia, kamulah yang sentiasa berhajat kepada Allah (dalam segala perkara), sedang Allah Dia lah sahaja Yang Maha Kaya, lagi Maha Terpuji. 15

- - -

Courage

Bismillah..

 

"Nothing endures, except change."

"Courage doesn't always roar. 

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 

"I will try again tomorrow.""

- Mary Anne Radmacher

"Two things are written in stone

1. Kindness in another's troubles

2. Courage in your own"

-Adam Lindsay Gordon, Australian bush poet

- - -

Sudah hilangkah rasa malu kamu pada Allah?

Bismillah..

I wanted to ask
"do you feel nothing?"


because I felt my heart squeezed into suffocation
that to be in the same radius was like exposing myself to a deadly disease
Lest I follow, I'd die in His displeasure, in His fury


Logically, it's just a custom
that you send your blessing to your brother
that everyone's having fun, taking their turns
that it's innocent
we're relatives, anyway
not strangers


Ya Allah...


I was facing with their apparent displeasure
"Babah request for you."
I'm sorry...I never meant to disobey
but if its between you and Allah swt
you know what I'd choose
so, don't
don't insist
I have my reasons
and those reasons can't be explain in words
in logical terms
because the heart
the heart denies the logic
that if it's wrong in the eyes of Allah
it's still wrong


Do you know?
I actually felt relieved
to be thus suffocated into tears
because it's a true indicator that ones heart is still alive
that my heart didn't die from sheer habit of witnessing munkar
of following along
when all this time
I feared the day will come when I didn't feel that way
that I wouldn't be able to differentiate right and wrong anymore


So, Ya Allah
thank You
Alhamdulillah~
Alhamdulillah~
Alhamdulillah~
:"(

- - -

new leaf

Bismillah..

Sincerely..I woke up this morning..and barely registered that its 1st January and what it meant.

Beginning of the year?

Wasn't that supposed to be Hijrah year? *smile*

 When I read my friends' comments on the beginning of the year, I realized I need to make a moment for reflection, and for conviction. A disclosure and..probably a fresh start. :)

2011 Snapshots:

1. Family: In the process of repairing family relationship...this year marked an astronaut step to the moon. 

Highly momentous and tears-inducing moment. :")

2. Ummah obligation: Felt like I understood Rasulullah SAW more, the seerah, the Quranic verses played in my head and my heart...like music that fits a film image. 

Astaghfirullalazim~ I'm still naive and ignorant...why do I covered my head with a pillow from the plight of my brothers and sisters? When they're fighting with a bigger obstacle than mine? 

Subhanallah~ Allah showed His Mercy by giving me a chance still to be here, to be aware. 

Alhamdulillah~ His Rahmah is bountiful and great! 

Allahu Akbar~ His Redha & Jannah..that's the true winnings for a Mu'min, and that has been called out faithfully in Azan (5 times a day!)

3. Work: At first, it was like being a new train driver, the friction was great..I brake a lot and I zoomed recklessly alot, too..and released  a load of hot air. Ya Allah, I cringed at the memory~ :S Alhamdulillah, I found my footing..not an expert but at least..I guess I was coping and learn to enjoy each moment, and my love for them kids...Syazwan's my first love, Asilah's my second,tehehe... I hope I got her this year too. My curious, stubborn, lovable little child...you do remind me of myself alot.

4. Went to Umrah: Like a car battery charger..it electrocuted me from my half-coma state with 1000000Megawatts power.

5. Self: What is the difference between quiet and silent? 

Both has similar meanings, yet...The former a calmer, wiser version. The latter a gloomy prospect. Either way, I prefer them than talking carelessly, which unfortunately, I had done a lot for this year, I think. Am not liking the black spots on my mirror. :"(

Conviction of 2012: 

First: refresh niat...what seconds remained of my life..for You. 

Let me have an end that is Khusnul Khatimah (good end), NOT Suul Khatimah (bad end).

You understand me, Ya Allah. You have watched and guide me through my life ever since I'm one of the ruh in LuhMahfuz. You know better of my akhlak, of my character. Please perfect my religion, my faith, my character. Make me guard my words without being too silent, and pour good deeds & hikmah to my words. And give me the strength to fulfill my pledge to you.

Because You are my witness...and I'm a witness to them people.

- - -