Red Light

Bismillah..

Its nearing the third phase and already I'm nearing panic attack. Lots are happening and seriously...I need to get a grip before I lose myself.

My uncle had just passed away early yesterday. I didn't realize I'd be so affected as I had. Life is like that. Death is like that.

Surah Al-Mulk

...and today..my little one is restless. Very much so.

...and then hearing one of my kids is leaving for UK...before we can have a proper farewell party..

Oof...why does my heart beats so? Erratic, nervous, painful, afraid...

The uncertainty.

That's the name for it.

Guide me, guide us, Ya Hadi. Only You alone knows where our path takes its turn. Khusnul Khatimah...please. lead us to the right path and don't let fitnah comes after it.

- - -

Mind full of whispers

Bismillah...

Entering another phase..maybe its normal to feel so nervous. The questions grow as everything else does..and answers doesn't come as easily. Maybe it'll take longer..who knows.

...and yet..the unease remains. For a mind that is full of whispers is still a mind that paddles forth despite the currents. Refused to be numbed down by the cold icy waters trying to make you forget, trying to freeze you down.

This fire..I"ll continue to hold even if it'll burn me.