droplets... of Your Mercy, Your Compassion

it will pass..

to feel the weight of solid just for a moment on the tips of your head, just for a fleeting moment before it sinks in through

ease off my sorrow and washed my tears away

comfort when just that last moment it became almost too unbearable, too hard..

and being understood so perfectly

to feel it being lifted up like a bird's feather

He listens when no one else does, soothes in a way that is gentler than a mother soothing her child..

"Jika Allah s.w.t. menolong kamu mencapai kemenangan maka tidak ada sesiapa yang akan dapat mengalahkan kamu dan jika Dia mengecewakan kamu maka apakah yang dapat menolong kamu sesudah Allah s.w.t? Dan ingatlah, kepada Allahlah juga orang yang beriman itu berserah diri." =')

Ali-Imran: 160

Syazwan replied "ada" today during attendance call-out

a strong and sure one

i can't help the smile long after that

i'm glad, Syazwan

i'm glad =")

do you know what it feels like to be able to speak?

i understand

i understand him perfectly =')

- - -

only the heart can understand..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Salaam,

A white fog settled whilst i was driving earlier today. Riding through the highway, a thought beheld me. This highway i was on is more or less straight, seemingly plain and direct..few smart houses decorate it's sides, the world feels open and wide. Then, passing through the traffic junction (in which, the lights blinking yellow a.k.a it's broken. again.)..occurred to me how the people from the other road would pick the winding roads at their area to reach the other end of this highway. Here, at this same road, beyond this smart plain houses, are a far more complex junctions and yet leading to this same one, only longer and more picturesque.

The method could be different but the direction is the same.

If you're a driver, typically you'll search for the shortest way to reach your destination.

What about us in life?

Trying to go to Jannah, the way is, unfortunately, not that easy. It seems easy to speak, and sometimes, easy to feel..but the farther you walk..you would realize it's actually..hard. :'(

And it's even harder to forgive ourselves for the sins we commit, that somehow, we can't help make over and over again. The path of Taubat is like that. Easy to say "Taubat Nasuha"- one you promised you wouldn't do again, and yet..slipping is far too easy. :'( The path to Taubat sometimes means you have to work hard, 'really' hard.

First, is to accept, rather than deny the sin.

Two, to not be redha with it. This type of transgression.

Three, you work hard to do more good than bad, until the bad would be overwhelmed until it reduce to non-existence. Maybe. InsyaAllah~

i'm trying to understand..

i'm jealous.

i'm jealous of those with a pure heart..who could see things clearly, in ways that pleases Allah.

it's hard to face Him when you know that there's stll a lot of black spots in your heart.

as Rasulullah s.a.w once reprimand Abu Zar for calling Billal a 'black woman's son'..

"Masih ada jahiliyyah dalam dirimu"

one that made Abu Zar clenched with fear and asked Bilal to step on his head.

I did something today that i'm not proud of. I let my temper and irritation win. They don't deserve that. They've been kind. I wasn't.

Thank You for the sponge cake, M. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry.

i thought i've grown up. Apparently, being almost-23 still means you got a lot to learn, about yourself and the people around you.

Ya Allah, i may have been on that winding roads now, please please please help me get back to the main road. Ya Hadi, help guide me~

- - -

Green apples

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Salaamun alaik',

am back and pretty much still alive. ;D

up there is an image of me greeting my wanah~

the apple of my eye~ :D

there's a lot of whom i wanna hug right now

maybe more for my sake than theirs ^^'

today i learn of responsibility and honour

first, what i learn is to love

but that there's something bigger than love

when you take care of someone, love them as if they're a mini-you

the best reason-the only reason worth to be called a Reason-is that you did it because of Allah s.w.t

watching my kids grow up, me learning rather than teaching

i realized that i 'do' love teaching

it does not stop when a kid just looks up at you

rather it begins when they look up 'to' you

needing as much to have a pillar, a role-model

to learn, to care, to believe, to trust...

i wonder how they'll see me in the future..

missing them already.

my wanah

my zikrul

my diniy

my danish

my kids

i do hope you grow up believing in Allah s.w.t, believe in yourself

to speak, syazwan, in your own words. to learn, danish, how the world turns.

to care, wanah, of people's heart.

how i learn

thank you,my little angels

you are indeed Allah's best interpreter of true faith

of white canvas, to care and to protect

to nurture and love

it's time

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