only the heart can understand..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Salaam,

A white fog settled whilst i was driving earlier today. Riding through the highway, a thought beheld me. This highway i was on is more or less straight, seemingly plain and direct..few smart houses decorate it's sides, the world feels open and wide. Then, passing through the traffic junction (in which, the lights blinking yellow a.k.a it's broken. again.)..occurred to me how the people from the other road would pick the winding roads at their area to reach the other end of this highway. Here, at this same road, beyond this smart plain houses, are a far more complex junctions and yet leading to this same one, only longer and more picturesque.

The method could be different but the direction is the same.

If you're a driver, typically you'll search for the shortest way to reach your destination.

What about us in life?

Trying to go to Jannah, the way is, unfortunately, not that easy. It seems easy to speak, and sometimes, easy to feel..but the farther you walk..you would realize it's actually..hard. :'(

And it's even harder to forgive ourselves for the sins we commit, that somehow, we can't help make over and over again. The path of Taubat is like that. Easy to say "Taubat Nasuha"- one you promised you wouldn't do again, and yet..slipping is far too easy. :'( The path to Taubat sometimes means you have to work hard, 'really' hard.

First, is to accept, rather than deny the sin.

Two, to not be redha with it. This type of transgression.

Three, you work hard to do more good than bad, until the bad would be overwhelmed until it reduce to non-existence. Maybe. InsyaAllah~

i'm trying to understand..

i'm jealous.

i'm jealous of those with a pure heart..who could see things clearly, in ways that pleases Allah.

it's hard to face Him when you know that there's stll a lot of black spots in your heart.

as Rasulullah s.a.w once reprimand Abu Zar for calling Billal a 'black woman's son'..

"Masih ada jahiliyyah dalam dirimu"

one that made Abu Zar clenched with fear and asked Bilal to step on his head.

I did something today that i'm not proud of. I let my temper and irritation win. They don't deserve that. They've been kind. I wasn't.

Thank You for the sponge cake, M. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry.

i thought i've grown up. Apparently, being almost-23 still means you got a lot to learn, about yourself and the people around you.

Ya Allah, i may have been on that winding roads now, please please please help me get back to the main road. Ya Hadi, help guide me~

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