wisdom tooth

Bismillah..

sacrifice?

it's been years, dear friend

heart's will can change

from self-centeredness to selflessness

to bore with it with patience and tawakkal

soon will come redha

happiness comes with hard work, not as an aim of itself

happiness comes with the right intention, the reason why

happiness comes with the right person, someone who understands the same

happiness comes gradually, even at some point in life, it'll threaten to dim and died out

in years maybe

a friend said this,

"if we move forward just because of that spark,

we'd died out when it (spark) died out"

moving forward doesn't mean you have to give all your heart into it all the time

sometimes...it's the destination itself

you make that effort

with light or heavy steps

I find truth in those words after two years jumping blindly in this field

preschool teacher?

what in the world am I doing? seriously?

"do you love working here?" she asked

"love?"

small smile

how do you explain it...

when fighting with that stream in the past

I should've charged towards government job. master.

*shrugs*

how do I say it...

that when you're here long enough, you'll get used to it?

I'd rather not thinking of the future?

I'd rather think not of my wasted potential in this small building?

*laugh*

sacrifice?

those words don't exist anymore

making this conscious decision...

what I can say...

like it had become my own bloodstream

flows in the veins

true

my oxygen, my plasma

times will change

it's not being content with what is

am greedy

of the potential

it's knowing this much is true

"right person, right time"

two years

and those words are true

I'll jump blindly into the future again, I know

but hey, the adventure is not in knowing how fun it'll be

but knowing that despite the obstacles, the stagnant boring phases of life

you trudge on

you live

somehow...I have a feeling I'll be happy nevertheless

because Allah swt (my destination) is already here (heart)

cheesy?

^^V

..but I'll tell you straight
it's not whimsical (my life decisions)
it's not a teenager's impulse, recklessness
when Allah swt decides for me
although it's wildly impossible to begin with
I'm following that
cause the impossible had happened in the past
and it's still here now
growing beyond what I'd ever imagined it to be
the root I've left takes it bloom

grow my flower, your caretakers had changed
but I trust Allah swt of your fate
that you'd spread your branch and be that shelter
that kalimah thayyibah would spread
would influence

I still don't know much
but yeah, am taking that risk

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