Bismillah..
"Be a friend, not a superior"
Just had a talk with my loves yesterday, on how to guide. I still remember what their brother-in-law said..that with who they are now (character, etc), they're not ready to lead anyone. He shook his head in disbelief.
I'm their mentor, personally I know there are many imperfections..but I believe in them. Give them that trust and they'll rise above, no matter what. If you set an expectation too early, judge too early..you'll go nowhere.
Worst, you're not a good teacher.
"have faith in them and they'll learn to have faith in themselves."
A brother helped me through those crises once, a simple cheer, a few advice. A simple act but pushed me forward, nevertheless. Insecurities, shyness, self-doubt aside..I survived. If you lay down high expectations on yourself, bottling it up, and facing disapproval will by no means would ever provide a good outcome.
Rather than a negative prep-talk, why not give something in which you know you can improve.
I still remembered the conversations I've had with my juniors a few weeks earlier, on being leaders.
On seeing realities and ideals...how as seniors, they should know how to lead. The ability is in them, you just have to broaden the scope they've seen. Because there's a serious imbalance of senior-junior, male-female, experience-wise.. that it affects their working relationships.
I asked, "Do you know who they are?"
"Their faces, their names, their abilities?"
a silent shake.
"Start with that," I said.
Listen well is good, but respond well, too. Even children look up at their teacher, cautious of their answers (whether its right or wrong). Am not denying the logistics..girls seems to have the ability to produce paperwork out of thin air, wherever you go. It's a plus-side..
Learn that naive as they seem..the guys think outside the box, and have a perseverance in them. Don't think them as juniors - am not excluding the fact they 'are' juniors - but learn to seek their opinions like an equal. Create a family, by first understanding each others strength and weakness. Treat them as humans, not robots. Build, guide their understanding with your experiences..the ability 'is' there.
Start where 'they' are, not where you are. Set a bar they can reach, step-by-step and increase them to your expectations...and insyaAllah, they'll rise above it, would surprise you. Celebrate them at every stages of their development.
Regardless of gender and age, human heart is the same..the feeling of wanting to be acknowledge..to feel you that you have a part, a purpose in whatever you do.
*laugh* sometimes I feel like a mother saying all of those.
"treat others the way you'd like to be treated."
I'd like to be treated with respect.
To be accepted, regardless of my flaws and weaknesses.
I'm willing to be taught, but please understand my stages
have patience with me and guide me
have faith in me.
(Trust)
- a dear friend said this, and experiences (no matter how bad they were) confirmed it.
Refer to past where you can learn from them, not where you can find blame in them.
Grow, my dear.
Pluck up your weeds, spray insecticides from the baddies, be watered with good minerals and clean intentions.
..and stretch your branch out to the skies.
Lead as how Allah SWT would like you to lead, with hikmah. The knowledge is 'in' you.
"Have faith."
- - -
I'm their mentor, personally I know there are many imperfections..but I believe in them. Give them that trust and they'll rise above, no matter what. If you set an expectation too early, judge too early..you'll go nowhere.
Worst, you're not a good teacher.
"have faith in them and they'll learn to have faith in themselves."
A brother helped me through those crises once, a simple cheer, a few advice. A simple act but pushed me forward, nevertheless. Insecurities, shyness, self-doubt aside..I survived. If you lay down high expectations on yourself, bottling it up, and facing disapproval will by no means would ever provide a good outcome.
Rather than a negative prep-talk, why not give something in which you know you can improve.
I still remembered the conversations I've had with my juniors a few weeks earlier, on being leaders.
On seeing realities and ideals...how as seniors, they should know how to lead. The ability is in them, you just have to broaden the scope they've seen. Because there's a serious imbalance of senior-junior, male-female, experience-wise.. that it affects their working relationships.
I asked, "Do you know who they are?"
"Their faces, their names, their abilities?"
a silent shake.
"Start with that," I said.
Listen well is good, but respond well, too. Even children look up at their teacher, cautious of their answers (whether its right or wrong). Am not denying the logistics..girls seems to have the ability to produce paperwork out of thin air, wherever you go. It's a plus-side..
Learn that naive as they seem..the guys think outside the box, and have a perseverance in them. Don't think them as juniors - am not excluding the fact they 'are' juniors - but learn to seek their opinions like an equal. Create a family, by first understanding each others strength and weakness. Treat them as humans, not robots. Build, guide their understanding with your experiences..the ability 'is' there.
Start where 'they' are, not where you are. Set a bar they can reach, step-by-step and increase them to your expectations...and insyaAllah, they'll rise above it, would surprise you. Celebrate them at every stages of their development.
Regardless of gender and age, human heart is the same..the feeling of wanting to be acknowledge..to feel you that you have a part, a purpose in whatever you do.
*laugh* sometimes I feel like a mother saying all of those.
"treat others the way you'd like to be treated."
I'd like to be treated with respect.
To be accepted, regardless of my flaws and weaknesses.
I'm willing to be taught, but please understand my stages
have patience with me and guide me
have faith in me.
(Trust)
- a dear friend said this, and experiences (no matter how bad they were) confirmed it.
Refer to past where you can learn from them, not where you can find blame in them.
Grow, my dear.
Pluck up your weeds, spray insecticides from the baddies, be watered with good minerals and clean intentions.
..and stretch your branch out to the skies.
Lead as how Allah SWT would like you to lead, with hikmah. The knowledge is 'in' you.
"Have faith."
- - -
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