a blade of grass

Bismillah..

tiny feet thread the green

stop

touch a colour. pause.

tiny hand hovering

a bigger one hold it firmly

encouraging. comforting

she follow-suit

picks a purple petal and plucks it

another one and another one

until a mere stub left

her eyes searching for another

takes off her shoes so she can walk

rewarded with a scream of fright

the ticklish green is strange

the world through her eyes is a vast wonder

yet the mere touch of a blade of grass is a fascinating thing

evokes so much emotion

and grows with understanding

my lil' one..

how ummi forgets alot of things

looking so far would get one lost

look at where you are

start from there

why fear a lot of things?

other's people hearts? 

other people's feelings?

getting lost in their problems

wondering how they end up there

wondering why I'm here

wondering why I choose this path

because He says it

"kun fayakun"

He say, "it'll be"...and it'll be

me...this heart?

look no further and start where you are

seek a height lower than yourself

return to humble beginnings are what the sahabah constantly does

because when you're up there, you see very little

when you're down here, you see everything

be humble

tell me..
why am I so preoccupied of people leaving?
why did I fear so much that they get lost?
letting go of the beacon of light that had shone them their path?
should I be angry and shook them back to reality?
should I slammed the ground and "insist"?

they "chose" this
should I let go?
should I claim it is what He had ordained?

no
you know the answer, Han
advise, even if it cost them shutting their ears
covering their eyes
my loves...I am amongst those who had neglected you when you are alone
while you may "chose" your path
He says otherwise
lest this growing guilt build up
a sign that ukhuwwah is not built from mere words
because it is your Haq
and it is something we must say
I...must say

it's either you do or you do not
there is no "try"
be humble
and begin to understand



this tiny blade of grass

- - -

Calm

Bismillah..

The moonlight

reflects upon the tide

calm is the picture

I wondered

when was the last time I felt this calm?

I was honestly surprised

it was recent

in the busy office

with loads of paperwork and planning to do

huh~

was it because I knew I tried my best each day?

was it because I survived the storm when it comes?

did I just grew up?

In the past, I would seek out the coastline often to vent out

rarely had the time to do so as of late

and yet...instead of how the surrounding defines me, I define my own surrounding

coming into grip with reality

and learn to exist 'with' it

there's a lot of expectations on me

when the letter came to legalized my status

I was quite nonchalant

maybe...because the status doesn't define me

I don't need a stamp to tell me I need to lead or validate that I can order people around

no

recent matters pained me

but it's a blessing despite it's cursed state
it made me reflect of my own intention
of my own words when I'm alone and amongst them
it made me think of Rasulullah SAW
of Sayyidina Omar
I put the first 1 minute of Omar series on repeat
Keep affirm on His path
"so the ignorant can learn, the careless be reminded and the seeker could followsuit"

their words or Allah swt's?

So I kept my silence evwn though I was quite shaken, dissapointed, sad...
I do not put myself in this position but when a muslim is given a reaponsibility, you do not turn yoir back on it
it's my responsibility now

Alhamdulillah~
Thank you Allah swt~
You have shown them what's in my heart without me saying it
The Truth is revealed
Thank You~

I look in the mirror and I'm aware of what is reflected
but Allah swt creates the heart so that its bigger than the physical can own up
calm is in knowing you have Allah swt by your side

- - -