to be certain

Bismillah...

Cause' I didn't like to leave things uncertain...

"And they were not commanded except to worship Allah , 

[being] sincere to Him in religion, 

inclining to truth, 

and to establish prayer and to give zakah. 

And that is the correct religion. "

Al-Bayyinah,98:5

There's a scene I like from Omar series that I watched recently, the people from Yathrib came and the leader warned them, if they still held doubts...they'd better return back to Yathrib (Medinah). His people said, 

"we didn't come all the way from Yathrib to turn away from the truth that is clear to us."

and they completed the first pledge (Baiah Aqabah)

If one wishes to be sincere to Allah in religion

don't held doubts

doubts bring you down

appeal to the truth

not own nafs

even if it hurts, even if its tiring

I can never forgive myself for leaving, for staying in the sidelines

for making excuses...

I know I'm tired sometimes, physically...but oh, if you could see the state of my heart

...in Jannah, their words are.. "tired? what is that?" 

We'll forget about it. We'll forget we'd ever complain

I didn't come all the way here to turn my back from it

please...even if my feet bleeds...that's better for me

cause I need to prove to Allah swt that this self is truly for Him

how do we know (how sincere we are)...

well, that's the matter of own heart and Allah swt, isn't it?

- - -

A Proud Mother

Bismillah...

    While the future might be unpredictable, it throws you in some good surprises, too. Do I expect anything from our weekly circles (30mins Tarbiyyah morning slot)? That they derive anything from being acknowledge - both their failures and achievements? Is their weekly solat practise is 'just' to improve and ingrained them on proper ibadah methods? Do I expect anything in letting them 'comment' on their performance (as Imam and makmum) after each solat?

    Imagine my surprise when I asked the usual question "any comments?" that Radjul would offer up a praise the Imam first (its Wardi's turn) and suggested he notch up his voice a bit. If a teacher said that, the pupil would be bashful or nonchalant...but if a peer said that...dude,its cool!

That the others would readily offer anything that I've corrected during their solat. The fact that they themselves offered up those comments with less proding from me. That they are kind when doing so....my heart swelled and I thought, "They grew up...they really grew up."

     I felt like a mother...happy I am that they turn out well with good akhlak, more than I am about their academic achievements. When they gave their all in the sports activities...confident and sure. When they themselves berate themselves or their own teacher for any unkind words.

It really is what it is. When you acknowledge someone on a personal level first, it shows in their attitude towards life in general. They believe in themselves more and succeed more. Just a little bit of understanding and stamping on own temper for anything they achieve less that we expected...that small gesture goes a long way. When they are able to confide in us like a peer would and yet still held you with respect...as an elder...as a teacher.

     I'm proud.

They're just Year 2...yet I saw them mature more than their own age.
For more than being a pupil, they themselves grew up as a teacher.