My heart

Bismillah..

Heard of marriages lately, conversations, facebook posts, etc.. 
actually a bit weary of it. 
.
.

Why?  

 Probably because I felt there's something wrong with openly expressing love to someone 'before' marriage. Even engagement is not a sealed thing.

Someone close to me shared this, and its  a moral that I hold on to.

 She had a fiance, about to get married after they finished their studies. They observed their distance, syariat-wise, everything...and everyone knows how much he loves her, though she puts on a straight face everytime, guarding her heart and his (from Zina Hati). Fate has it, Allah SWT loves him more (he passed away before their nikah day, only a few months away).

A wake-up call on the remembrance of death in every wakes of life, in every 'grand' plan. To always be wary...

I couldn't imagine facing that, to be thus heartbroken. 

Yet, she's a strong person.  Allah SWT sent her someone whose character amazes me. He didn't pay much heed on death, if he's gravely sick, etc. because no matter what, as long as he's breathing..he'd live his life like it was his last. His studies, his life..he'd give the best..because time is that precious to him. Literally. He'd wake up from a coma and the first thing he'd ask of the nurse is whether he can go out to attend his classes.

I wondered about that

then, how should we love?

because it is our fitrah

how should we find our mirrors that reflects us?

 Then I came to this ayat

"Teman-teman karib pada hari itu saling bermusuhan satu sama yang lain, 

kecuali mereka yang bertakwa.

"Wahai hamba-hambaKu! Tidak ada ketakutan bagimu pada hari itu, dan tidak pula kamu bersedih hati. (Yaitu) orang-orang yang beriman kepada ayat-ayat Kami dan mereka berserah diri. Masuklah kamu kedalam surga, kamu dan pasanganmu akan digembirakan."

Az-Zukhruf, 43: 67-70 

..and the first person who came out from my mind is someone I shared my childhood and youth with.

this heart belongs to Allah swt,

and He gave me this inclination to love Rasulullah SAW in my childhood 

and this one sahaba', through my youth.

When I read this hadith, I fell in love..

Sahabat Abdullah bin Umar bin 'Aash berkata, "Ada tiga orang Quraisy yang paling baik akhlaknya, paling cerah wajahnya, 

dan paling besar malunya. 

Apabila mereka berbicara, tidak akan pernah berdusta dan kalau Anda yang berbicara kepada mereka, 

baik hak maupun batil mereka tidak akan mendustakannya. 

Mereka adalah Abu Bakar ash-Shiddiq RA, Abu 'Ubaidah bin Jarrah RA dan

Utsman bin Affan RA."

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, "yang paling pengasih di antara umatku adalah Abu Bakar, yang paling keras dalam agama Allah adalah Umar, dan yang paling pemalu adalah Utsman ..." (HR At-Tirmidzi).

...and he is Rasulullah SAW's companion in Jannah.

Tercatat dalam "Arriyadh Annadhirahfi Manaqabil Asyarah" dari sahabat Abu Dzar ra, bahawa Rasulullah masuk kerumah Aisyah ra dan bersabda:

"Wahai Aisyah, inginkah engkau mendengar khabar gembira?"

Aisyah menjawab: "Tentu, ya Rasulullah." 

Lalu Nabi SAW bersabda, "Ada sepuluh orang yang mendapat khabar gembira masuk syurga, Iaitu:

Ayahmu (Sayyidina Abu Bakr) masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Ibrahim; 

Umar masuk syurga dan kawannya Nuh; 

Uthman masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah aku; 

Ali masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Yahya bin Zakaria; 

Thalhah masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Daud; 

Azzubair masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Ismail; 

Sa'ad masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Sulaiman; 

Said bin Zaid masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Musa bin Imran; 

Abdurrahman bin Auf masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Isa bin Maryam; 

Abu Ubaidah ibnul Jarrah masuk syurga dan kawannya adalah Idris Alaihissalam."

how can I describe my love for this man?

  Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam berkata:

 ”أَلاَ أَسْتَحِي مِنْ رَجُلٍ تَسْتَحِي مِنْهُ الْمَلاَئِكَةُ. “

Bagaimana aku tidak merasa malu dari seseorang yang malaikatpun merasa malu kepadanya? 

Sahih: Dikeluarkan oleh Muslim di dalam Shahihnya – hadis no: 2401 (Kitab keutamaan para sahabat, Bab keutamaan ‘Utsman). Juga dikeluarkan oleh Ahmad di dalam Musnadnya, jld. 1, ms. 71 dan Ibn Hibban di dalam Shahihnya – hadis no: 6907.

His akhlak, his modesty, his strong-hold towards the Quran and fasting, his generosity. If I'm to put all the hadith that describes him here, it'd be a seriously long post, but I'd like to share the most moving part in reading his biography.

We know he's famous for the disagreement among the muslims. His death, with blood on his mushaf...but do you know that Rasulullah SAW foresees these? 

His (Rasulullah SAW) face darkens when he knew, and when he turned to Uthman, he said to never let go of his caliphate position although the people would 'insist' he step down. This beautiful, kind, soft-hearted man had to resolve his heart, because this amanah (caliphate) is Rasulullah SAW's will (wasiat). 

..and do you know what happen the night before he was killed?

There are two things that Sayyidina Uthman hold fast to: Quran and fasting. That night, he dreamt he saw Rasulullah SAW, Abu Bakr and Umar standing and smiling, saying.

"Good news, O Uthman, you are going to break your fast with us tonight (in Paradise)"

O Allah, I know I can't ever match with his ibadah, amal, etc..but if love is enough..

will I ever meet him?

..at the very least, his likeness?

- - -

khawab (= dream, in urdu)

Bismillah..

just finished reading the sequel book. 

..tears just came streaming at every 5 pages

I don't know.. of loss, of hope.

I've read the first book two years ago..

I'm just going to say..it's imperfection makes it more human.

deeply human..because this isn't a novel.

it's a compellingly true story

..and am continuously to be in love with this Haji Ali, who died in 2001. 

This man who was illiterate, yet humbly and patiently said to Greg...

whilst he was in haste to get the construction going as soon as possible, to make true of his promise to build Korphe's first-ever school to this elder. 

He showed Greg a safe, in which he took out a battered Qur'an, apparently worn from constant turning of pages, as if..every night a wrinkled hand would lovingly stroke each sheaf of paper...

 Yet...he said these,

 that this Quran was his most prized possession..

and yet, he was unable to read it. 

He hope his grandchildren can.

"The first time you share tea with us, you are a stranger.

The second cup, you are a friend. 

but with the third cup, you become family - and for our families we are willing to do anything, even die."

- Haji Ali

On October afternoon in 1999, Kirghiz horseman rode out of the Wakhan, Afghanistan. The place is so remote, so desolate..it's called Bam-I-Dunya (Rooftop of the World), specifically in Bozai Gumbaz.

They rode out for months through chains of mountains to meet this American kind soul, with a request to build a school. This journey is met with difficulties and challenges that it took almost a decade to fulfill..and the wait is really worth it.

A dying man's wishes...so that a little four-room structure would be built, the highest school in Afghanistan, in the land that people almost forget, or ceased to value. A message of raw hope and empowerment.

"If I could somehow have found a way to share the story of the tiny four-room schoolhouse that was nailed together upon the Roof of the World with my old mentor and friend, Haji Ali - a man who never learned to read or write, and who now lies in his grave under the apricot trees next to the barley fields of Korphe - I believe he would have nodded with approval.

He was a man who understood the virtue of small things." 

-Greg Morteson

---

my life,

my pride,

all in the cause of Allah SWT.

my dream

Your Redha

I'm taking my life in stride

to embrace who I am

my strength

and my weakness

O Allah, forgive me if I strained their patience

but You gave me this heart and head

to judge

my destiny, my fate

is Yours alone

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