fingertips

Bismillah..

"Aku bersumpah demi hari kiamat,

dan aku bersumpah dengan jiwa yang amat menyesali (dirinya sendiri).

Apakah manusia mengira, bahwa Kami tidak akan mengumpulkan (kembali) tulang belulangnya?

Bukan demikian, sebenarnya Kami kuasa menyusun (kembali) jari jemarinya dengan sempurna.

Bahkan manusia itu hendak membuat maksiat terus menerus.

Ia berkata: "Bilakah hari kiamat itu?"

Maka apabila mata terbelalak (ketakutan),

dan apabila bulan telah hilang cahayanya,

dan matahari dan bulan dikumpulkan,

pada hari itu manusia berkata: "Ke mana tempat berlari?"

sekali-kali tidak! Tidak ada tempat berlindung!

Hanya kepada Tuhanmu sajalah pada hari itu tempat kembali.

Pada hari itu diberitakan kepada manusia apa yang telah dikerjakannya dan apa yang dilalaikannya.

Bahkan manusia itu menjadi saksi atas dirinya sendiri,

meskipun dia mengemukakan alasan-alasannya."

Al-Qiyamah, 75: 1-15

There's a scene in an English Literature "White Fang" by Jack London, that I'm quite drawn to in Form 4. In the intro about a man in the wilderness, struggling with a fire that threatens to dim out in any moment. The glowing embers waiting from behind the trees. Wolves! Waiting for the last of the fire to flicker out, so that they could ambush and tear him apart, devouring his remains.

He thought about that, and he looked at his hands, his fingers, the flexes, the joints...growing more and more attached to it, finally able to see their worth, in the face of impending death.

These hands...who arranged them perfectly so?

the symmetry, the fingerprints, each own's unique identity, the nails arranged so neatly

who made them? why?

Allah swt have made them so orderly, do you think your bones would not be collected in the Hereafter? that we would not be resurrected and be asked of our amal?

what we have done, and what we have neglected?

I've thought about it

ever since entering this world of two

how he helped me to protect my deen

complete my sense of ibadah

...and how in the world, I wondered

would we be able to istiqomah about it?

make a habit out of it

a chance that'll never come back

treat each day with their worth

that they'd be gone

that the opportunity would not come back for the amal to be done again

there's no such thing as "ah, karang tah ku buat, sampat ni."

"alah, termiss tahajjud malam ani...esuk tah ku buat."

do you not realize?

the opportunity would not come again

when we have neglected, procrastinated...we punish ourselves for being slack

in dunia, yes, say that all we want

but what of when time stops for us

when the opportunity to do amal expires

wouldn't we face the deepest remorse

the most huge regret biting at our heart

in Qiyamah, O Allah swt, is this all I have done??

mere pile of dust??

the essense of istiqomah is not what we do when we 'feel' like it

but when we feel we can't 'breathe' a day without it

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