Can shadow feel?

Bismillah..

between what I've known and what is expected of me

so, I sat there at the stone-cold pavement and look towards the ocean

when shadows loom

when sunset meets moonrise

what is this life?

I missed them

their companionship

all is change around me, so, I must change, too

yet this girl is still the same person

who looks towards the meadows and dream of open fields

the rush of water by the ocean, before heading of for maghrib prayer

of the solitary walks, as I wonder upon verses

I missed them

when the time fits for us together

to just eat nasi katok or whatever

to just hear daily accounts of everyone

the voices stop when things changed

do you know?

I search for your shadows

more often now than ever

can you feel?

that I name your names in fleeting moments of quiet

all is change about me

so I must change, too

but this girl is still the same

who misses her friends

you are a part of me, too

those things never change

- - -

Mengaut

Bismillah...

Mengaut is a Bruneian word for scooping, often used to refer scooping out rice/food or taking ablution.

The beauty of ibadah often begins with the cleansing of physical self before self would be ready for the cleansing of the soul. Such were the case for Umar Al-Khattab before he turned towards syahadah. He was about to hold the pages of Qur'an that his sister was reading earlier and his sister bids him to cleanse himself first...and when he did, Surah Taha washes over his soul. Allah's Hidayah.

Last week, I was watching my eight-year-old sister-in-law taking her ablution. I was quite used to seeing my own preschool and primary kids taking theirs (ablution) but that act are also usually synonym to 'playing with water'. So, when I watch her doing it alone, full of tertib and care...I was mesmerized by this small figure performing an opening act of ibadah, the cleansing ritual.

Beautiful.

 When heart and actions are aligned in performing ibadah. Beautiful.

Was only reading Surah Al-Qadr, about Lailatul Qadr (Night of Qadr)...of a very spiritual night...to those who found it would feel a certain kind of serenity. Even when surrounded by people, that moment, you'd only feel it's you and Allah swt in this universe. A dialogue without words. Unconditional faith in submitting self infront of Allah swt. A special night when the night is not sharp or cold, but a certain kind of warmth in its cool, soothing, energizing. When the essence of life around you is amplified. When it happens to be that that very night Malaikat (Angels) and Jibril spread their wings and came down to earth in masses.

"There is beauty in ibadah when you feel like you're talking to Allah swt. 

Alone or in jemaah, it's the secret dialogue of the heart, in Surah Al-Fatihah, in ruku', in sujud, in the act, in the words... 

This is me, Your servant. Infront of You, My Creator, My King."

- - -

Ketentuan

Bismillah...

Kadang-kadang...

aku terluka

kerana perbuatan manusia

atau perkataan mereka

kadang-kadang...

aku kecewa

kerana aku percaya mereka

apa yang dilakukan mereka tidak sepatutnya

kadang-kadang...

aku sakit

sakit menanggung pedih

sakit atas perasaan yang 

kadang-kadang...

aku tidak mengerti

"Ketentuan Allah melebihi ketentuan manusia."

"Tuhan yang menguasai pemerintahan langit dan bumi, dan yang tidak mempunyai anak, serta tidak mempunyai sebarang sekutu dalam pemerintahanNya; dan Dia lah yang menciptakan tiap-tiap sesuatu lalu menentukan keadaan makhluk-makhluk itu dengan ketentuan takdir yang sempurna." 

Al-Furqan, 25: 2

kenapa perlu ku terasa terluka, kecewa, sedih?

Siapakah yg lebih dahulu menulis takdir, qada' dan qadar?

siapa yang mencipta sakit dan ubatnya?

siapa yang mencipta manusia dengan pelbagai tabiatnya?

Ketentuan Allah melebihi ketentuan hambaNya

rancanglah apa yang kamu mahu

katakanlah apa yang kamu mahu

perbuatlah apa yang kamu mahu

Allah Maha Mengetahui isi hati

Allah Maha Mengetahui akhiran setiap diri

aku percaya

takdir dimana aku diletakkan

walau tanpa ku rancang

Ya Allah, Kau telah aturkan segalanya

jika Kau ingin jalan (hidup) ku ini sakit dan pedih, aku redha

kerana ku yakin dan ku cinta akan jalanMu

atas nikmat Tarbiyyah yang Kau berikan

atas nikmat Tarbiyyah yang Kau berikan

mengerti, memahami takdirMu lebih besar dari apa yang dirancang manusia

Ya Allah

nanti Kau juga yang menunjukkan jalan siapa yang benar

siapa yang berlaku zalim, aniaya, Kau takkan lepaskan

yang lalai, Kau pula akan ingatkan

yang beramal, Kau akan kotakan janjiMu, Ya Allah

walau kami tak mengerti

sampai tiba masanya, Kau jugalah yang mengajarkan apa yang tidak kami ketahui (Al-Alaq:5)

KetentuanMu Ya Allah, adalah sentiasa benar

- - -