Bismillah..
why am I reluctant?
I'm happier when I can't see
I'm happier when I don't have to bother
I hate that this weakness is used against me
and why am I a fool to keep falling for it?
- - -
there is life
there is goodbyes
there is youth
there is age
Nevertheless, life is a changing entity
if follows the ever changing shadows
wherever you stand, no matter how rooted you are to that place
the light would still keep on changing
between light and darkness
morning and night
..and so we also have to come in terms with sad goodbyes.
I feel old, sometimes, because upon seeing new faces to cherish, I foresee the parting from it. School is a sad place, no? ...and they're only kindergartners.
My loves, would you still remember me?
Just had their convocation (Kg 3) few days back. Somehow the physical aspect of it is already an auto maton, while to register the thought and felt of that night, I'm still waiting for it to catch up. Busy? Yes. Convocation, camping, cleaning campaign and barbeque. Am loving the seemingly-endless chase of this, as if to squeeze every precious moment you can have with them kids. It's just a few days but Ya Allah, It's a lot. It's a lot.
As to preserve their memory, I'll narrate some.
24.11.2011 (Thursday)
KG 3 Convocation Night
That morning, we had the perfect rehearsal. We've been having them for every single day as of the beginning of the week, so most of my kids memorized the words by heart. What's endearing is..when their big brothers/sisters (Elementary & K3) performed, they did their own part by singing along. A heartfelt one at that, with Tausyeh and Nasyid. Them belting out. *laugh* and I found myself looking at them rather the ones performing infront, smiling like a silly fool would. Because their voices were louder, carried away by the song (about iman and akhlak), singing earnestly.. And at the end of every performance, they would sincerely clap and holler as to support their bros/sis.
Simply put: The perfect audience. :D
That night, the event went quickly. As I was the discipline leader, I handled the back view rather than the front. Unexpectedly, I ended up babysitting the K1 and K2, spoon-feeding them their late-dinner. I was stuck wondering, how in the world I end up becoming their personal butler, cutting their chicken into edible tiny pieces, and spoon-feeding (Yes, SPOON-FEEDING) them.
In the end, Ammar wanted to eat for himself. He made his point loud and clear, and as persistent as a 4-year-old could possibly manage. Though later, I caught him sharing and offering to feed Wardi (his best friend). Ya Allah, do you realize how unbelievably cute that was?? XD The same with the girls. What a picture they make! Of all the chaos of parents, teachers and performers..here they are, not a care of the world, eating and sharing as if they're in a picnic between friends. A bunch of 4/5-year-olds... *shakes head* When its time to collect their styrofoams, I was genuinely surprised on how they ate them BONE-CLEAN.
In the end, the K3 and Year 6 had their photo-sessions on stage.
I didn't. I couldn't..
I don't have the heart to.
Syafiqah beckons on me to take a picture with her, (this year is her last and everytime her mother mentions her absenteeism in the last days of school due to her adapting to her government pre-school class at the moment, I wanted to cry, Especially on hearing that she still looks forward to coming to school, even though its only two days left) with Safwan, Surah and Sarah ( HA! 4 S! ]. Later, they went onstage to take another picture.
*sigh* I envy their obliviously happy state.
on a last note, the Nasyid:
Sama dalam pengajian
Kami belajar membaca menulis
Semoga Allah berkati
Ilmu itu jadi cahaya
Menerangi hati yang buta
Mesti dicari walau di mana
Kuatkan azam berusaha
Iman pula penting sekali
Pengubat jiwa penawar duka
Membina rohani akhlak mulia
Mari kita suburkannya
Sopan santun budi pekerti
Ibu dan ayah ditaati
Guru di sekolah mesti dihormati
Jadikanlah pakaian diri
Anak yang soleh jiwanya besar
Menjauhi perkara mungkar
Berjuang berkorban walaupun sukar
Demi agama sanggup bersabar
Album : Permata Ayah Bonda
Artis : Aeman
Lagu : Copyright Control (Hijjaz Records Publishing)
Lirik : Copyright Control (Hijjaz Records Publishing)
Hakcipta : Hijjaz Records Sdn. Bhd.
- - -
26.11.2011 (Saturday)
Kids Camping @ A's backyard (Tutong Beach)
We (me and my 3 girls) arrived at sunset. Orange shadows played against the edge of sea. Twas' the sound of waves that greet us first: loud, deep growl. We made our way through litter of leaves crunching beneath our shoes soles, directed by that sound.
It was high tide.
Entered the shadowy compound, they just finished their maghrib prayer. So we took off, performed ablution by the waterpipe in the enclosed compound near A's house. Performed our Maghrib prayer and we cooked our late dinner. Had a night of reflection for the kids that night, though I doubt it really achieves the purpose. O young hearts, often I fear for you. We ate marshmallows by the barbeque grilled, my girls tentative at first but splurge later on with 5 marshmallows/stick. They slept under tents that night, a sweltering hot at that.
I slept under the sky, stars barely discernible due to the incoming drizzle.
Woke up to it and rushed in half-awake state to open another tent for the belongings. Barely awake still for the Subuh prayer. Whilst the kids were preparing, K motioned to me alone. A questioning look, and yet match her stride towards the sea. The tide receding fast and we stood there at the meeting-point of land and sea.
K said Iqamat and we performed our Subuh prayer there.
The clean and slightly moisturize sand beneath our hands and forehead.
The world as far as the eyes can see, time seems to move slowly at dusk.
night and day about to meet..
such strange calm..
as if left alone in this world, to confront Your Creator.
"Jadilah kamu bila bersama Allah tidak berhubungan dengan makhluk dan bila bersama dengan makhluk tidak bersama nafsu. Siapa saja yang tidak demekian rupa, mak atentu ia akan selalu diliputi syaitan dan segala urusannya melewati batas."
-Syeikh Abdul Qadir
I think for the first time, I understood what Ihsan is, what taqwa is. Ever since then, when I wanted to pray, these images came. Of wide sandy beach, of dusk silent air..
of facing Allah, alone..
Ihsan (from hadis Arbain) = The feeling that you can see Allah (strong awareness of Allah's presence), and if you cannot see, verily, Allah sees you, always.
Taqwa = at heart, fear of Allah. Do what He tells you to do, avoid what He forbids you. Do not see sin for their size (big or small), but of what they are (sin) equally in magnitude, equal in His contempt and displeasure.
That morning we went to the meeting point of Tutong River and South China Sea. Swam in both, colder in the former, warmer in the latter. The kids caught 3 live starfishes, their (feet?) moving like soft corals, 1 river crab, 1 blowfish there. Was astounded as they were, watching these creatures up-close for the first time.
We went fishing at the river, a first for many (*ehem* including me ;D ). Caught 5 small fishes, that were to be our lunch that day. We had sweet mangoes in the sea, casually sitting there with big grins on our faces. Later, we swam at the sea...me, finally understanding my dad's protectiveness when I was a child, myself. The kids goad me to enjoy myself (tempted), yet I gave them a warning. I don't mind they surrender their wills to force of nature, but never let them take over you, letting yourself be drifted, be pulled in by the water. As long as they know how to stood their ground, I'm happy. O Allah, I hope it teach them how to face life. To face challenges of the world, and not letting yourself be drifted with the matters of dunia. O Allah, I hope they could stand on their ground, have taqwa in their hearts no matter where they go, no matter how much they've grown. O Allah, let them never forget that.
We parted after lunch, tired to our bones. I hope, wiser than we were yesterday. More thankful to Allah, more appreciative of Allah's creations around, that they might surprise you, might teach you somethings. :)
- - -
there is life
there is goodbyes
there is youth
there is age
Nevertheless, life is a changing entity
if follows the ever changing shadows
wherever you stand, no matter how rooted you are to that place
the light would still keep on changing
between light and darkness
morning and night
..and so we also have to come in terms with sad goodbyes.
I feel old, sometimes, because upon seeing new faces to cherish, I foresee the parting from it. School is a sad place, no? ...and they're only kindergartners.
My loves, would you still remember me?
Just had their convocation (Kg 3) few days back. Somehow the physical aspect of it is already an auto maton, while to register the thought and felt of that night, I'm still waiting for it to catch up. Busy? Yes. Convocation, camping, cleaning campaign and barbeque. Am loving the seemingly-endless chase of this, as if to squeeze every precious moment you can have with them kids. It's just a few days but Ya Allah, It's a lot. It's a lot.
As to preserve their memory, I'll narrate some.
24.11.2011 (Thursday)
KG 3 Convocation Night
That morning, we had the perfect rehearsal. We've been having them for every single day as of the beginning of the week, so most of my kids memorized the words by heart. What's endearing is..when their big brothers/sisters (Elementary & K3) performed, they did their own part by singing along. A heartfelt one at that, with Tausyeh and Nasyid. Them belting out. *laugh* and I found myself looking at them rather the ones performing infront, smiling like a silly fool would. Because their voices were louder, carried away by the song (about iman and akhlak), singing earnestly.. And at the end of every performance, they would sincerely clap and holler as to support their bros/sis.
Simply put: The perfect audience. :D
That night, the event went quickly. As I was the discipline leader, I handled the back view rather than the front. Unexpectedly, I ended up babysitting the K1 and K2, spoon-feeding them their late-dinner. I was stuck wondering, how in the world I end up becoming their personal butler, cutting their chicken into edible tiny pieces, and spoon-feeding (Yes, SPOON-FEEDING) them.
In the end, Ammar wanted to eat for himself. He made his point loud and clear, and as persistent as a 4-year-old could possibly manage. Though later, I caught him sharing and offering to feed Wardi (his best friend). Ya Allah, do you realize how unbelievably cute that was?? XD The same with the girls. What a picture they make! Of all the chaos of parents, teachers and performers..here they are, not a care of the world, eating and sharing as if they're in a picnic between friends. A bunch of 4/5-year-olds... *shakes head* When its time to collect their styrofoams, I was genuinely surprised on how they ate them BONE-CLEAN.
In the end, the K3 and Year 6 had their photo-sessions on stage.
I didn't. I couldn't..
I don't have the heart to.
Syafiqah beckons on me to take a picture with her, (this year is her last and everytime her mother mentions her absenteeism in the last days of school due to her adapting to her government pre-school class at the moment, I wanted to cry, Especially on hearing that she still looks forward to coming to school, even though its only two days left) with Safwan, Surah and Sarah ( HA! 4 S! ]. Later, they went onstage to take another picture.
*sigh* I envy their obliviously happy state.
on a last note, the Nasyid:
DI SINI KAMI BERKUMPUL-Aeman
Di sini kami berkumpulSama dalam pengajian
Kami belajar membaca menulis
Semoga Allah berkati
Ilmu itu jadi cahaya
Menerangi hati yang buta
Mesti dicari walau di mana
Kuatkan azam berusaha
Iman pula penting sekali
Pengubat jiwa penawar duka
Membina rohani akhlak mulia
Mari kita suburkannya
Sopan santun budi pekerti
Ibu dan ayah ditaati
Guru di sekolah mesti dihormati
Jadikanlah pakaian diri
Anak yang soleh jiwanya besar
Menjauhi perkara mungkar
Berjuang berkorban walaupun sukar
Demi agama sanggup bersabar
Album : Permata Ayah Bonda
Artis : Aeman
Lagu : Copyright Control (Hijjaz Records Publishing)
Lirik : Copyright Control (Hijjaz Records Publishing)
Hakcipta : Hijjaz Records Sdn. Bhd.
- - -
26.11.2011 (Saturday)
Kids Camping @ A's backyard (Tutong Beach)
We (me and my 3 girls) arrived at sunset. Orange shadows played against the edge of sea. Twas' the sound of waves that greet us first: loud, deep growl. We made our way through litter of leaves crunching beneath our shoes soles, directed by that sound.
It was high tide.
Entered the shadowy compound, they just finished their maghrib prayer. So we took off, performed ablution by the waterpipe in the enclosed compound near A's house. Performed our Maghrib prayer and we cooked our late dinner. Had a night of reflection for the kids that night, though I doubt it really achieves the purpose. O young hearts, often I fear for you. We ate marshmallows by the barbeque grilled, my girls tentative at first but splurge later on with 5 marshmallows/stick. They slept under tents that night, a sweltering hot at that.
I slept under the sky, stars barely discernible due to the incoming drizzle.
Woke up to it and rushed in half-awake state to open another tent for the belongings. Barely awake still for the Subuh prayer. Whilst the kids were preparing, K motioned to me alone. A questioning look, and yet match her stride towards the sea. The tide receding fast and we stood there at the meeting-point of land and sea.
K said Iqamat and we performed our Subuh prayer there.
The clean and slightly moisturize sand beneath our hands and forehead.
The world as far as the eyes can see, time seems to move slowly at dusk.
night and day about to meet..
such strange calm..
as if left alone in this world, to confront Your Creator.
"Jadilah kamu bila bersama Allah tidak berhubungan dengan makhluk dan bila bersama dengan makhluk tidak bersama nafsu. Siapa saja yang tidak demekian rupa, mak atentu ia akan selalu diliputi syaitan dan segala urusannya melewati batas."
-Syeikh Abdul Qadir
I think for the first time, I understood what Ihsan is, what taqwa is. Ever since then, when I wanted to pray, these images came. Of wide sandy beach, of dusk silent air..
of facing Allah, alone..
Ihsan (from hadis Arbain) = The feeling that you can see Allah (strong awareness of Allah's presence), and if you cannot see, verily, Allah sees you, always.
Taqwa = at heart, fear of Allah. Do what He tells you to do, avoid what He forbids you. Do not see sin for their size (big or small), but of what they are (sin) equally in magnitude, equal in His contempt and displeasure.
That morning we went to the meeting point of Tutong River and South China Sea. Swam in both, colder in the former, warmer in the latter. The kids caught 3 live starfishes, their (feet?) moving like soft corals, 1 river crab, 1 blowfish there. Was astounded as they were, watching these creatures up-close for the first time.
We went fishing at the river, a first for many (*ehem* including me ;D ). Caught 5 small fishes, that were to be our lunch that day. We had sweet mangoes in the sea, casually sitting there with big grins on our faces. Later, we swam at the sea...me, finally understanding my dad's protectiveness when I was a child, myself. The kids goad me to enjoy myself (tempted), yet I gave them a warning. I don't mind they surrender their wills to force of nature, but never let them take over you, letting yourself be drifted, be pulled in by the water. As long as they know how to stood their ground, I'm happy. O Allah, I hope it teach them how to face life. To face challenges of the world, and not letting yourself be drifted with the matters of dunia. O Allah, I hope they could stand on their ground, have taqwa in their hearts no matter where they go, no matter how much they've grown. O Allah, let them never forget that.
We parted after lunch, tired to our bones. I hope, wiser than we were yesterday. More thankful to Allah, more appreciative of Allah's creations around, that they might surprise you, might teach you somethings. :)
- - -
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