The Rider

Bismillah..

Dear bike, 

i saw you infront of the store today. If I had $110 then, i'd probably buy you that instant. Its a halfway journey, the last time i rode you. You broke down before I could finish learning. Hearing my best friend talking about her adventures on you, i was green with envy. I want to be able to do that, to ride with my neighbors, getting chased by dogs. Riding through the asphalt walk, the dirt along the mountain side. To breathe in the fresh air, arms widespread..the whole world for my taking.

To feel the strain, the effort of working up against the hill, the sharp, cold pebbles..the joyride waiting just on the other side.

The memories..of 'having' you, through walks of life. As a child with feet barely reaching the ground, to ride to schools, to ride through work, through chores, through leisures..

 I saw a beaten-up bike rode by an elderly on a road, recently. The image forces a quiet contemplation..the loyalty, the determination, the sacrifice.

The loving patience.

Am 23 years old and yet still feels self to be such a child. Impatient, stubborn..still struggling to maintain balance..of handling own life, of understanding the tool, the ride, the destination..

am i sulking because i didn't 'know'?? 

for sure on how to 'live' with the lesson??

if i have a living grandfather, i'd probably be shaken and slap into consciousness..

"wake up child! Don't be lazy! You ain't a young 'un, anymore..your own existence not a joke of the universe. it has meaning! It has value! Up to you to wake up and smell the sweat, blood and tears of the world!"

it's 'your' turn now.

Wake up!

- - -

i don't know
i felt like there's something to say
if its a burden i 'can' feel, i'd probably be able to ride on
but it's like carrying a bag of air
what 'are' you saying??


at what stage a young one knows how the elders may 'not know' what they're saying, themselves
and which is just considered too rude to brought up?


whatever it is..
i have to find it out
or i'll keep on holding this bad disease
 getting sicker and sicker by each passing day


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