Robin

Sometimes..I wonder

am i deluding myself?

if I set off into the world not quiet my own

more than part of growing up

it's a part of me, lives and breathe with me

To what extent do I let it

or lest shattering the illusion is the next best thing?

if i didn't have my experiences..would I learn, otherwise?

The falls, the young naive humiliation, the tears

heart-wrenching to see what's reflected in the mirror is not what you expect it to be

and learning to 'not' rely on mirrors, unless it has something important to impart

Thank goodness they (memories) went like a fog

the clarity would've baffled me

or rather, they cease to matter...now

 i fell in love with a child

if i have a daughter, i would probably name her Wana

she's.. a sweet little creature

big round eyes

an almost toothless smile

and it's hard to describe her as a child

wise eyes she has, full of compassion and empathy

often i forget she's only four years old

and yet she is that

she'd hold a crying girl's hand

she'd wait for a friendless friend

more than sweet words of assurances..she's stand by her friends

defend the helpless

shown immeasurable kindness

she has an amazing benevolent heart 

she is the image of what goodness can be

without the false image of child- bratty, tantrum-throwing, self-centered

she is her own little person

i love her to pieces

love her because of Allah

Looking up

Bismillah..

A defining moment is unexpected, catch you unaware but when it comes..it brought a tide of emotion, or simply just one. 

What it brings is a meaning.

 

Often felt like hiding under the umbrella

fears one unwilling to speak

but then..

comes the gentle mist

the cool rain

and you can't help looking up

to see the clouds, the enlighten glow of sun

and maybe a surprise of colours greeting you

what's real this year begins with that moment

worked hard on something, took considerable time and effort for it

what's left is to go to photocopy it..around 300 pages

left instructions with the photocopier

then I was off, on a book-hunt mission and waiting

i came, expecting to see the outcome happy

he misunderstood

300 pages wasted

i want to dismiss it as an ok! for the photocopier sake

but he saw my crestfallen look, and offered to keep the wrong pages

inside, i was a mess

heavily dissapointed, hurt but mostly..angry

whilst in the car, the tears came, papers thrown in the air

i sat down, buried in whatever emotions i got

it's hard to let go

there I sat, trying to recall as many hadith, Quranic verses i can

to 'deal' with it

to carry on

it (the anger) persist

I read a hundred books but i never read myself

its a line from one of Outlandish songs

the words came and lift my face to see, to read what i am

time for The Lesson

1. Don't assume. Be sure, Be REALLY sure.

2. Make yourself clear

3. Check that the recipient 'understood'

4. Check the initial trial before carrying on (execute similar action)

5. Correct any errors from the beginning

because NOT making sure yourself would leave you not only dissatisfied, the time, effort and money would be lost

it's a parody of life: the outcome you'll get when you bring that attitude forward

when you could've done better

Your destiny is not how one decides for you, but what you decide for yourself

because it's you, who changes

because it's you, who lives

because in the end...

it's you, who 'knows'

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