dime

Bismillah...

'cause I'm holding to a hope

as light as air

even when the grains of sand drop

there shall not be any despair

what's intertwine

fixate my heart at this

shall not be undone

from what had been missed

from what is written
from what is true
no less in importance
it's just that... we grew

would you believe me in this
that all will be well
be prepared to take risks
because only He knows our real tale

- - -

How much do you believe?

Bismillah..

17.10.2013 (Wednesday)

KG 3 Morning circle slot: 
Tazkirah on Eidul Adha. 

1) The sacrifice of Prophet Ibrahim a.s family.
2) The importance of upholding your Tauhid 'first' and 'foremost'.

T: "For a Mukmin, their hearts shake when Allah's name is mentioned."

"Does your heart shakes?"

*small fists clutch their chest*

H: "No"

T: "Close your eyes." 

"Is your heart beating?"

*eyes closed...

and opened.*

H: "Yes."

Everything they've said, the prophet Ibrahim a.s, Ismail a.s, Hajar..

and they leave their fate to Him (left in a desolated desert, the sacrifice of a beloved and only son, a father's request whose face he didn't remember)
"just because...it's lillahi taala."

"How much do you believe that this heart belongs to Him?"

- - -

There's a lot of uncertainty in life. Things that I know, and more that I don't.

How much I laid my fate to Allah swt must've started then.

When I waited, when I push aside my principles, just for a moment, thinking I could create a 'chance' for him to understand. In the end he didn't. And I've regretted my decision ever since. That I had to wear a mask so unlike me, and make excuses to justify that at least I've 'tried'. Was it worth it that from that moment on, I couldn't forgive myself?

 Then, I understood what the lesson was. You think 'you' can create the chance? Hidayah comes from Allah swt. That chances come from Him, alone.

The lesson was, don't push away your principles for anyone's sake. When it's Allah swt, don't waver....and make du'a. That's more pure for your heart.

"Carry on through, even when the world is against you."

- - -

Sequence

Bismillah..

This year feels like a dream.

It's a tad bit early to wrap this year up, but muhasabah is always necessary.

The sooner you do it, the sooner you understand what's right and what's wrong with oneself.

There's a lot of firsts this year.

Taken, when one becomes two, of course there'll always be a lot of firsts.

Just not in a way I imagine I would feel.

Like I've been here.

Strange, isn't it?

Why so familiar when everything is so different?

First, a rocky year of preparing. Then, the cautious yet delirious happiness. The crash. The survival ... and now we're on calm sea. Just drifting, both learning to give and take, and now, just waiting. I have a feeling we're waiting for the next big wave. The inevitable. If being one person has its own challenges, I believe Allah swt would give a bigger (challenge) once we know how to got each other's back. The responsibility.

I know, we're on sedative now.

O Allah swt, You didn't make last year hard for me for it to end there. It's necessary so that I know where I stood ... now the question is, how 'we' stood?

To be this family is a new thing for us. Shaping things what both our families originally differ as much, yet by Your will, changed as we had changed. For the better, InsyaAllah~ cause this is a journey, not a destination. Next is our community.

I prayed for strength, loyalty & tsabat in Your path. For all of us. Your ummah.

"Go and be a great mukmin & mukminat."

O Allah swt, help us to have Your redha~

- - -

a warm heart

Bismillah...

To take time to care for others. 

To make du'a for whoever, whenever, wherever. 

To forgive whenever the heart feels slighted. 

To have faith in people.

The conversation I've had with my mother-in-law warmed me. A true story about a mother's du'a. Her faith in what Allah swt had set for her children. Am raised up in a privilege educated family. To 'know' is one thing, but to 'believe' is an incredible thing. 

By logic, there's a lot of unfair things, but by logic too, there's a lot of fair things in this world. It's a matter how the heart sees things. I'm learning. I'm learning to see past the potholes, the negatives views... and try to leave them to Allah swt first. Second is that my part is to be a good mukmin to others. 

"The hand that gives is better than being on the receiving end."

So I'd rather do this,

to think less about it and to do more

- - -

Familiar

Bismillah ...

my sadness. my happiness.

"Yours"

- - -

五月

Bismillah..

beautiful. haunting. hurting.

"Time flies, but not who we are."

- - -